Friday 11 October 2013

The Song of the Grumpy Toadstools


Lord Ancrum's Wood: excitement gathers under the leaf canopy as our first At Home approaches

Small People are sorting their party clothes and testing mixes of make-up, decoration and the best ways of firing hazel-nuts at visitors

Giants are gathering. Green And Leafy, Redbeard, Night-time, and Coombe have all sent themselves off for polishing.
a table-top of giants

Toadstools are sprouting enthusiastically, possibly emerging a bit early and we hope they won't have got so excited they've collapsed by Saturday (meet Newbattle College, Dalkeith, 2 pm Saturday 12th for this first storywalk through the Waking Wood).

But there is dissension.


THE SONG OF THE GRUMPY TOADSTOOL
I don't like this.
And I don't like that.
And I don't like much at all!
Conkers!
Acorns!
Crunching leaves,
Changing colour,
Falling leaves,
Collecting on top of me!
Spikey conkers,
Lumpy acorns,
Juicy apples,
Squirrels collecting nuts.
I don't like that!
And I don't like this!
And I don't like much at all!
I hate it all!
So I will sit here poisonous,
Sprouting in the leaf mould
And sulk




Other Toadstools are more optimistic but tinged with a sense of doom and the transience of flesh. These are Toadstool Songs and if you/we cannot find the rhythm and metre of them then that is more about our clumsy human sense not appreciating the subtlety of fungal song-writing. they are, after all, among the very few organisms who can effectively rhyme orange with porridge ( English-speaking humans can sometime manage it if they've got a bad cold)
necessary adjustments can be undignified

THE SONG OF THE HAPPY TOADSTOOL
I like playing in the woods,
I like collecting leaves;
(On my head)
I like conkers,
I like pumpkins,
I like juicy apples
And tasty brambles.
I like the sound of leaves under a rabbit's feet,
And watching the wild cats,
And skulls,
And Toads,
And deer sitting down in the dark,
And foxes in their burrows.
I like autumn,
Because of Hallowe'en
And watching the sky for the triangle lines of geese
I like autumn because winter is near

I would love to walk,
To go for a walk,
For a long walk
Through the tall forest.
I would love to
Jump in leaves
And swim through leaves,
Crunchy leaves, dry leaves
Beautiful leaves,
Changing colour
On cold frosty mornings.
I would be so good at trick-or-treating
I would love to do those things
If only I could.

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